The thing about me not saying 'sorry' all the time is that I believe that not all people deserve it. They don't deserve to hear and accept something that comes from the unearthed corner of my mind.
I used to say sorry even to instances that I feel that it's not my fault, or just to end an accumulating misubderstanding and guess what, I end up feeling sorry for my self.
Saying sorry was sort of a habitual expression for me. Well, that was before. I bump into a table, I say sorry. Someone stepped on my shoe, I'm always the one who say sorry and the person who caused me hurt just walk away--like nothing happened. But that not made me feel bad.
It was habitual because my mom taught to say sorry in all instances. She should have taught me to only say sorry when I feel the need to--and when the person deserves that piece of you.
Maybe I'm clouded with pride. But sometimes, I end up feeling fucked up when I sorry when I feel I don't have to. It's not that there's always gonna be 'you-to-blame' in every misunderstanding. Sometimes you could put misunderstandings to an end by just walking away. Or so I believe.
Or this is the end product of trying not to get attached (too much) with everyone I love, to everyone I treat with care.
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